Dating and Relationships

Elana Chasser, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT, CMAT
516.489.2652

Dating and Relationships

Relationships can be a source of our most cherished memories and some of our most difficult challenges. Wanting to connect with someone, share intimacy and life experiences is natural and powerful. The world of dating, however, can be a mix of excitement and fun for some, while others may find it intimidating and demanding. Today's dating landscape is more intricate than ever, often leaving people feeling perplexed and frustrated.

Many people think about questions like:
• How can I meet genuinely good people to date?
• Why do I seem to keep attracting the wrong partners?
• Why does finding love seem impossible for me?

Many people experience challenges while dating and seeking relationships. Together, we will learn about and address any challenges you experience with understanding and compassion::

1. Fears: Fear of being hurt, of rejection, or of trusting and being vulnerable again are common. These fears are natural responses to past experiences. With awareness and connecting to your energy of “courage,” your fears can relax and free you to be your more authentic self in relationships

2. Expectations: The balance between guarding your heart and allowing yourself to be hopeful is a delicate one. While protecting yourself is understandable, a relationship needs an openness and willingness to be vulnerable, connectable. From here, people can find and explore closeness and intimacy.

3. Communication Skills: Building healthy relationships requires effective communication, which encompasses listening and speaking with respect and empathy. Non-Violent Communication (NVC) is a style of communication that carries respect for self and others. It can be learned and improved over time, with patience and practice. We will explore the world of NVC so that you can use and invite effective communication with others.

4. Past Trauma and Hurts: Past traumas and emotional wounds can, understandably, affect how you approach new relationships. Remember that healing takes time. If you are reading this now, you have taken the first step towards your healing journey. Together, we will explore how your past is affecting your present and help you move beyond your past hurts so that you can live free from those pains in the present.

5. Difficulty Being Alone: The discomfort of being alone can sometimes push people into relationships for the wrong reasons. This discomfort might make you overlook problems in a relationship because you’re afraid of being alone. It's important to feel good and enjoy your own company. When you're okay with being on your own and genuinely like spending time with yourself, you're less likely to settle for a relationship that doesn't make you truly happy. Building a positive relationship with yourself and seeing time alone as a chance to learn and grow not only boosts your self-confidence but also creates a healthier space for love to grow when the right person comes along. Being comfortable with your own company is a strength that may lead you towards finding more meaningful connections with others.

6. Low Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem: Your self-worth is intrinsic! Coming to know and believe in your inherent value, worth, and lovability is vital to being authentic and happy. If your belief in yourself is wavering, know that it can be restored. You weren’t born with negative beliefs about yourself. They were born, rather, somewhere along the path of your life’s journey. This is hope-giving because it means you can restore what is rightfully yours: to discover and truly know who you inherently are. You are valuable, lovable, and worthy of love and respect!

Any challenge or obstacle you encounter with dating/relationships is valuable to explore. Bringing curiosity to these experiences can deepen your insight and help you make effective choices on your own behalf. Learning about challenges and growing from them is only a strength that will serve you as you navigate your way towards finding a fulfilling and satisfying relationship.

Are You Looking To Heal Your Relationship After Betrayal?

With over 30 years of clinical practice and having had the privilege of working with many individuals and couples, I've consistently witnessed the incredible drive people have to find relief and heal their pain. It's truly remarkable how we can transform our lives.

If you've noticed patterns in your choices or behaviors that aren't serving you or helping you reach your goals, it's important to approach them with curiosity and compassion. The good news is that these patterns can change!

My approach is rooted in encouragement and support for your growth and healing journey. Together, we will align our efforts with your personal goals to enhance your overall quality of life and your relationships. You're not alone in this, and I'm here to walk this path with you, guiding and supporting you every step of the way.

Kind Words

  • I sought help from Elana because I was in tremendous pain after discovering my husband's addiction. Every minute of my life was filled with anger. Elana helped me see that I wasn't responsible for his problem or fixing it. Elana showed me how to find the strength and courage to feel and get past the pain, and to deal with life. As I healed, my relationship healed, and today my husband and I have a loving relationship built on a new trust and faith in the future together.

  • Reaching out to you, Elana, in my darkest hour of need would prove to be the most positive, life altering decision I had personally made for myself. I was about to embark on a journey that I was not prepared for but knew that I needed because I could no longer control the events surrounding my existence. My life, as I knew it, had become completely unmanageable. I was the Victim and now a proud Survivor of a Sexually Addicted Spouse for 31 years. I would also learn that I suffered from the effects of losing myself and thinking I was “crazy”, which I now know is common for betrayed partners who’ve lived with someone’s active sexual addiction over time.

  • Thank you for being there for me during my times of need and always. Thank you for believing in me and helping me become the best version of myself. ‘
    Anonymous

  • Reaching out to you, Elana, in my darkest hour of need would prove to be the most positive, life altering decision I had personally made for myself. I was about to embark on a journey that I was not prepared for but knew that I needed because I could no longer control the events surrounding my existence. My life, as I knew it, had become completely unmanageable. I was the Victim and now a proud Survivor of a Sexually Addicted Spouse for 31 years. I would also learn that I suffered from the effects of losing myself and thinking I was “crazy”, which I now know is common for betrayed partners who’ve lived with someone’s active sexual addiction over time.

    Immediately upon our first meeting, I knew that I could safely tell you “My Story” to which I had never told a Sole. There was no judgement, nor did I ever feel judged. I felt safe, cared for, supported, validated, respected and seen for the first time.

    The pieces of my life that had destroyed me and shattered my world would start to come together. I would learn to deal with truths I never acknowledged or understood. I would learn to dig deep and let the emotions that had been buried so deep within me in order to survive in my daily existence come out in order for true healing to begin. I felt challenged after each session and eager to put the work in to succeed in order to never return to the broken individual I was when we first met.
    I have been seeing you for the last 18 Months and continue to ensure that I am and remain the healthiest version of my new found Self. I am still challenged, learning, and loving life in the most authentic way. I am in recovery, have recovered a sense of my Self, and have truly broken the cycle.

    I have thanked you personally over and over again for truly saving my life. I am always taken aback by your response which is that “I am honored you chose me to share your story and be on this journey with you”. It is always said with complete sincerity.

    My success to learning how to overcome all the Trauma has come from your guidance, love and support. I could never thank you enough for what you have taught me, how you have inspired me, and continue to help make me the best version of myself each and every day.

    If all the pain that I have endured was necessary to find you, in order for you to help evolve me in to who I am today.................Then it was all worth it.
    Amy

Dating and Relationships
Elanna Chaser Headshot

Elana Chasser,
LCSW, CSAT, CPTT, CMAT

About Elana Chasser

Working as clinical social worker for over 30 years.
Work history: Residential Treatment Facility for emotionally troubled adolescents, domestic violence shelter, outpatient mental health clinic – supervisory role, private practice since 2005.

LCSW Licensed-Clinical-Social-Worker
CSAT Certified-Sexual-Addiction-Therapist
CPTT Certified-Partner-Trauma-Therapist
CMAT Certified-Multiple-Addiction-Therapist

Licensed in:
New York and Massachusetts

Elana Chasser, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT, CMAT
516.489.2652

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